I’m currently sitting inwards a hotel room on the European side of Istanbul. I stress the ‘European side’ because for the in conclusion ii years Alesha together with I have got traversed across the vast surface area of Asia. From the beaches of Southern Thailand to the mountains of Northern Vietnam, nosotros ventured into the Tibetan plateau, wandered through immense Chinese cities, hitched across the Mongolia steppe, bounced along the edge of Tajikistan together with Afghanistan, followed the Silk Road, charged over the Karakum Desert, sailed the Caspian Sea together with finally moved into Turkey – the cease of Asia.
I can’t fifty-fifty count the dissimilar modes of carry it took us to cross a continent. Far besides many to listing anyway.
It took us nigh 690 days to acquire to Europe. 300+ days longer than nosotros firstly anticipated. For each kilometre of this amazing journeying Alesha has been my side, together with I have got been past times hers. We’ve supported each other through the goodness times together with the bad, watched each other’s backs, encouraged together with nurtured each other together with comforted our souls when nosotros needed it. I can’t imagine having done this journeying without Alesha side past times side to me, together with I’m certain she feels the same. Two years constantly past times each other’s side. Every pace of the way.
Except today, I am sitting inwards Istanbul alone. And Alesha is dorsum habitation inwards Australia.
We’ve been together for seven years now, together with have got e'er had a enterprise relationship. Sure we’ve had our moments, the strange fight, but nil that ever worried us. We’re meant to go together together with desire to pass the residuum of our lives together. We fifty-fifty got engaged at the outset of the year, within the world’s biggest cave.
But at just about betoken inwards China, nosotros started bickering amongst each other. Even though nosotros have got sung China’s praises on this weblog together with social media, together with saw just about of the most incredible landscapes imaginable, the truth is nosotros struggled there. Red People's Republic of China turned us into bad people. The pushing, the shoving, the pollution, the spitting, the lack of abide by towards the environs together with their swain human beings, the oily food, the wasteful mental attitude that is straightaway ingrained inwards their psyche, nosotros could go on. In the cease at that spot was real petty nosotros liked nigh the entire province together with its culture.
This is non to order nosotros didn’t have got slap-up experiences together with run into wonderful people, because nosotros definitely did. It has mayhap the most various landscapes nosotros have got ever seen. But those moments were far less mutual for us. We loathe beingness negative, together with it may audio arrogant or pathetic, but that is the truth. We tried to dear it – nosotros spent iv months exploring equally much equally possible, waiting for the minute where nosotros would say, “Ok, this identify isn’t besides bad later on all,” but it never came. We tried to express joy it off, but travelling inwards Red People's Republic of China got to us. And nosotros started taking it out on each other.
At the same fourth dimension equally nosotros were struggling inwards China, this petty weblog actually started to accept off. We began freelancing a lot more, working amongst to a greater extent than tour companies together with brands, our social media followers grew together with nosotros started to earn a one-half decent income. While this was an unexpected (yet welcome) surprise, it also meant nosotros of a precipitous had a larger workload. This resulted inwards us spending less fourth dimension relaxing together with exploring together with to a greater extent than fourth dimension sitting inwards hotel rooms or cafes trying to grab upwards on work. Don’t acquire us wrong, nosotros are ecstatic nigh how things have got turned out amongst NOMADasaurus. But coupled amongst the go stress nosotros were experiencing inwards China, nosotros started to pass less fourth dimension appreciating each other.
Alesha started to resent travel, together with I started to acquire numb to it. Very few things excited us anymore. We kept maxim it was only ane of our “curses of long term travel“, but inwards all honesty at that spot was to a greater extent than to it. Worst of all, nosotros neglected our relationship.
By the fourth dimension nosotros left China, nosotros were exhausted. Mongolia was a welcome change, but all the same proved to go tough. Even though nosotros got dorsum to doing the things nosotros dear – camping, hiking, beingness inwards nature, hanging out amongst goodness friends, learning nigh novel cultures together with getting off-the-beaten-path – nosotros never recovered emotionally. We would snap at each other over small-scale things, together with these youngster arguments would plough into all-day affairs. Alesha would acquire angry at me over trivial matters, together with I would retaliate. In the cease I stopped beingness the caring partner that I should be. I neglected Alesha’s feelings together with she would assault me for neglecting her. I continued to fail her because I couldn’t stand upwards beingness attacked. It was a vicious cycle.
We kept maxim nosotros needed a break, but nosotros didn’t know how. We were inwards the middle of Asia amongst no tardily way out. We could have got thrown the towel inwards together with bought a airplane ticket to anywhere, but nosotros knew that wasn’t actually an option. We had a mission to complete, a finish to achieve. So nosotros pushed on, never giving ourselves fourth dimension to cook our relationship.
Even amongst the struggles nosotros were experiencing though, nosotros never seriously persuasion nigh parting ways permanently. We dear each other completely, together with volition have got a long together with happy life together, this nosotros are both certain of. But nosotros needed to modify something to convey us dorsum to how nosotros e'er have got been.
Towards the cease of Mongolia nosotros sealed a operate bargain amongst the overland adventure tour fellowship Dragoman to go across Central Asia. This is a fellowship nosotros have got e'er had huge abide by for, together with nosotros were ecstatic to have got the hazard to operate amongst them through the ‘Stans. Even though nosotros are independent travellers, nosotros were looking frontwards to leaving the logistics to someone else for the firstly fourth dimension inwards our 6+ years of travelling the world. Sorting out visas, transport, accommodation, food, activities, all inwards countries where you lot don’t speak the linguistic communication or know the customs, every solar daytime for ii years, is non a unproblematic task. Not impossible, together with nosotros consider ourselves to go experts at on-the-go logistics inwards unusual lands, but doesn’t hateful it is easy.
We also never go to an itinerary, but persuasion this would go a goodness modify equally well. If you lot think travelling spontaneously is nil but fun together with games, elbow grease together with organise how to acquire across Northern Mongolia yourself…(A exceptional cheers to our novel friends Dave together with Jordie who saved the solar daytime at that spot past times giving us a ride inwards their Unimog.)
Alesha together with I persuasion this interruption from independence would go just the thing nosotros needed to cook our relationship. Even though nosotros were working amongst Dragoman on this journey, creating content equally nosotros went along, nosotros knew having a laid itinerary together with our ain carry would accept away a lot of stress nosotros are ordinarily under.
Before nosotros joined the tour nosotros travelled through Tajikistan, Kyrgyz Republic together with Republic of Kazakhstan on our own. While nosotros have got nil but amazing things to order nigh these places, our human relationship continued to go nether strain together with it actually affected our travels. Alesha was missing her family, together with I was just wanting to disappear into the wilderness together with run away from it all. Being away from friends together with identify unit of measurement for a long fourth dimension is tough. Even though nosotros have got each other, nosotros tin all the same experience trapped together with alone. In regions similar Southeast Asia, Europe or Central America, where at that spot is a huge backpacking community, at that spot is e'er novel friends to go made together with people to hang out with. With just about of the places that nosotros go to nosotros routinely go days, or sometimes weeks, without seeing other travellers. Yes, beingness off-the-beaten-path is great, but non when you lot just demand people your ain historic catamenia to acquire out together with have got a beer together with a chat with.
Our diet had also taken a hit, together with nosotros felt completely unhealthy. We hadn’t done proper practise for longer than nosotros could remember, ate a lot of dodgy foods that had petty nutritional value together with pose on weight. This just made us experience fifty-fifty to a greater extent than down. Lesh has e'er said that if your tum is happy, you lot are happy. Well later on the diet nosotros experienced across China, Mongolia together with Central Asia, our stomachs definitely weren’t happy.
At just about betoken nosotros sat downward together with realised that the best thing for us was to go our dissever ways for a while. To give ourselves a interruption from each other.
From a small-scale guesthouse inwards Osh, Kyrgyzstan, Alesha booked a flying habitation for Christmas. With a few clicks on a reckoner nosotros would straightaway go apart for v weeks – the longest nosotros have got ever been apart since nosotros firstly got together inwards 2008. It mightiness non seem similar a large bargain to just about people, but for us it was huge. It was an admission that something was incorrect amongst us. But it was also a pace towards making things better.
The Dragoman tour was just equally epic equally nosotros had persuasion it would be, together with having a interruption from scheme was a welcome relief. But nosotros were all the same burnt out, all the same unenthused, all the same exhausted from travel. We knew that this upcoming interruption would go goodness for us, together with that the fourth dimension apart volition assist us appreciate each other.
On our social media nosotros pose on a brave face, continued on, pose upwards lots of dainty photos together with talked nigh how slap-up our experiences were. We would constantly have emails together with messages from people looking for advice on travelling equally a couple, together with nosotros would impart our noesis together with wisdom. But deep downward nosotros were struggling. Even though nosotros elbow grease to allow our personalities smooth through our writing together with photography, nosotros have got never actually allow our existent emotions out into the public. To us it is all the same unusual that nosotros straightaway have got thousands of people next our journey, commenting, encouraging, sharing form words together with supporting us. Thousands of people nosotros have got never met, watching what nosotros do. We dear the back upwards together with dear our readers together with followers! You guys are seriously awesome! But nosotros were afraid to tumble our hearts out. “No ane wants to hear nigh our struggles when we’re travelling through just about of the most amazing places on the planet.” First footing problems later on all.
Last calendar week nosotros crossed the Bosphorus Strait in Istanbul, together with geographically entered Europe. This meant the cease of an era for our journey, but also meant nosotros were straightaway nigh to business office ways. On the 14th of Dec nosotros went to the aerodrome together with I watched equally Alesha stepped through immigration, headed dorsum to her habitation inwards Australia. After almost a twelvemonth of putting strain on our relationship, nosotros are finally fixing it.
So why are nosotros pouring our souls out on our weblog for the firstly time? What precisely are nosotros trying to acquire across?
People order if you lot tin go long-term amongst your partner, together with then you lot tin acquire through anything together. We honestly believe this. seven years travelling the footing has proven it to us. We dear our lifestyle, but it is stressful. Even though it appears nosotros are “living the dream”, this dream is our lives. And just similar you lot tin lose your passion for a hobby when it becomes a job, we’re starting to acquire jaded amongst travel. We’re lucky plenty to go able to lead to alive this way together with nosotros are grateful for it. But that doesn’t hateful every solar daytime is cocktails together with pretty sunsets. We’ve been through a lot together, both positive together with negative, together with nosotros have got e'er come upwards through it stronger than ever. We know this fourth dimension volition go no different.
We’re spilling our hearts out inwards this post, the most personal nosotros have got ever written, because we’ve recognised that it is ok to experience similar this. But recognising the work together with fixing it are ii dissimilar things. I approximate we’re just showing you lot what it’s actually similar for us, behind the scenes. Giving a chip of insight into our personal battles spell nosotros accept on this adventure. Revealing ourselves inwards a way nosotros have got never done before. Maybe no ane actually cares together with no ane volition read this post. But maybe someone out at that spot volition read this together with realise that human relationship issues tin occur to everyone, together with that it’s ok to admit this.
Over the side past times side few weeks I’ll go bouncing betwixt Turkey together with Republic of Bulgaria spell Alesha visits her friends together with identify unit of measurement inwards Australia. We both have got a lot of thinking to do, nigh our relationship, our travels, but most importantly ourselves. When she returns to Istanbul on Jan 20th nosotros demand to build just about large decisions on how nosotros tin maintain to displace frontwards positively, together. We have got just about ideas on what volition assist us amongst this, together with we’ll go exploring lots of dissimilar options when nosotros are dorsum inwards Turkey. We all the same have got every intention of making our way through Africa together with to Cape Town past times land, but it mightiness accept us longer than nosotros thought.
Thank you lot to everyone who has followed us, supported us together with encouraged us along the way. We’ve been lucky plenty to have got just about amazing readers, together with have got fifty-fifty had the hazard to run into a lot of you lot on the road. We appreciate every comment, message, electronic mail or make out that nosotros have got received from you lot over the in conclusion ii years. And if you’ve taken the fourth dimension to read this article it agency the footing to us. We promise you lot don’t hear us opening upwards together with revealing what it’s actually similar for us.
Our travels are non over, far from it. But nosotros promise you’ll forgive us spell nosotros pose things on stand upwards for together with focus on ourselves. We’re looking frontwards to the side past times side adventure together, together with know that it volition equally epic equally the in conclusion seven years.
Happy travels!
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